Salam Tahun Baru!

Assalamualaikum J

First of all, I just want to wish a Salam Awal Muharram to all Muslims. May this year bring us much joy and happiness that we deserved. May we have the courage to face another year with passion and will to drive ourselves forward and heading towards success.

People seldom talk about opening a new chapter when it comes to New Year. But by opening new chapter, will that immediately helps u to forget about what happened in the past? I bet there will be times u still lingering on those memories and u wish that u can turn back time so that u can change the events that have occurred.

If u ask me whether I have regrets in life, I would say no. I have lived my life according to my own ways, without anyone telling me what to do, etc. every thing that I have done is done by my own will, no one force me. I have learnt about life through the hardest ways. And yes, I am still learning about it day by day.

At the age of 23 I don’t think my life is complete just yet. I haven’t accomplished many things that I said I would do it when I turned 23. I still have doubts about having a relationship. Let alone a marriage and kids. Pfft, I am so not ready right now, financially, mentally. I don’t know about u, but I sometimes have a love-hate relationship with little kids. Sometimes they’re annoying, sometimes they’re the sweetest thing ever. Well that’s about relationship.

I always said that I want to further my studies after completing my degree. So it has been a year now. And I’m still here. Couple of friends already started their masters program and a few have worked as lecturers, tutors. I envy them. A lot. They already have the future figured out and I’m still wondering on my next plots. Arghh, this is troublesome!!

So, a new chapter huh? What is there for me now? What can I do to turn things around? What would it take to open new chapter and leave it all behind?

I wish I could throw u away or I wish my brain has a delete function so that I can easily delete u from my RAM memory and never to see u again. U, my saddest memories, my unfinished stories, my sweetest memoirs, why still there? Why keep showing up when I try to forget all about u?

Now I don’t know where this post is going to end. So many things in my head now. I just want to be heard. These thoughts aren’t supposed to hurt ur feelings. They’re not supposed to make u fall apart. They’re not even meant for u.

I supposed it is true when people say that thoughts are the most powerful weapon in the world.

*be careful with ur thoughts, u don’t want them to hurt u and ur loved ones*